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Sigh :(
May 26, 2006 • DailyComments (0)
On this day in 2005 2003

This morning my dad died. His heart finally gave up. He's been abusing it for so long - I don't know how it managed to stay beating all these years. He seemed to be doing everything he could to destroy it.

He's been on his distructive path for years and we've been expecting this but apparently we weren't as prepaired as we thought we were. I had no idea I'd miss him so much. I wish it hadn't taken this to make me realise it. God, I wasn't done yet. I thought I was ready but I just wasn't done with him yet.

My mom's not doing too well right now. She could use prayers from people who pray.

I just went in his room and had a good long talk with him. I think he was there. I ended by telling him I love him. I haven't said that in five years.

In the end this will be better for everyone involved, but for now, I ache. My heart hurts so bad. I need one more day with my papa :(

No comments are necessary [but please feel free if there's somethign you have to say]... just be good to yourself and people you love, okay?

Newhall Park
May 20, 2006 • DailyComments (0)
On this day in 2005 2003

Mmmmmmmmm the new Pet Shop Boys album is so yummy.

* * *

Feb. 22 2006:
Today I sat at a bench I've sat at a hundred times before, but not in seven years. The trees, birds, sky, grass, and air were all so familiar and as I remembered everything, I couldn't help but wonder if it remembered me. It might sound stupid, but I wondered if the bench remembered the times I sat waiting for my friends to come by during their PE run, or the guy who practiced his guitar nearby, who I pretended was seranading me [ah, my teenage imagination]. I wondered if the trees remembered when I braided their long weeping branches together, or how I used to hide under them with a boy I liked and we'd talk about comedy for what felt like hooours. I wondered if the bathroom remembers me from when I cried on my way to a friend's house because someone else I liked was "going out" with another girl.

I wonder, if I go back in another seven years, will it remember the time I had a picnic with my soulmate, and told him about all the things I used to do there?


* * *

A few days later we went back to the park with bread, and fed the ducks. We've gone back maybe ten times now, and they remember us every time. They start running at us the second we're in their sights. We've made a friend, too. A goose half Dan's height, loud as hell, clumsy, and probably... special. He also has a large growth on his head. He loves to be fed by hand, but he's a little frightening - to me at least, I have a slight fear of birds.

For the first time this year, there are new ducklings :) SO CUTE. I've been looking forward to seeing some babies. There were about a dozen running around in a row, like a cartoon.

We gave two little girls watching us pieces of bread so they could feed with us. They'd never fed ducks before. I think everyone should feed ducks at least once in their lives. It's so theraputic. And it feels really good to be trusted.

Laptop hard drive in a desktop
May 10, 2006 • Google BaitComments (0)
On this day in 2005 2002

Last week, Dan's laptop decided it didn't want to start anymore. We're convinced there was nothing wrong with it, it just didn't like us anymore. *cough* umm, anyway :)
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They found sea men in her stomach.
April 12, 2006 • DailyComments (2)
On this day in 2004

Juan has a colonoscopy in the next few days. I do hope it goes well :) [my voice mail greeting is the speak and spell voice saying my phone number. If I wasn't afraid of leaving my own message, I'd change it to something like, "Hi... um, I just got this phone number and whoever you're trying to reach is probably not me. My dad's name is Bob. Um, sorry, bye bye."]

***

On my birthday a few weeks ago, Dan and his mom drove to like every store in southern California looking for Sea Monkeys. We had talked about them when we saw them on I Love Toys. [They never found them, so they got me a troll and this picture* :D A few days later we found a kit at Target.]

Like most other children of the 80's and '70s, I've attempted to witness the miracle of Sea Monkeys a few times in my life. Insisting on doing it all myself when I was maybe 7, I didn't get a single Sea Monkey. So like most other children of the 80's and 70's, I thought Sea Monkeys were bullshit.

A few days ago I opened up my kit and followed the directions perfectly, and now I have the CUTEST SEA MONKEYS EVER. I love watching them swim around - oh my god, I am such a NERD.

* - How cool is that picture? Seriously? I love that man.